So today I woke up from a really bad dream. For some reason, my biological brother was actually a foster child and the government took him away from me. It was really sad, I think I might have cried for real. I’m very attached to my siblings. I stayed in bed browsing my computer till about 11:30 am, when my mom came in saying she was hungry.
Attention! Breakfast! It consisted of leftover pulled pork wrapped in an amazing blanket that we mexicans love called a tortilla(tortiya, is the pronunciation, please don’t say the ‘ll’s’ that’s just bad) with some bbq sauce, it didn’t taste as good as I was imagining but it did the trick.
Then I exercised on Wii Fit(don’t judge me!) for about 16 minutes. Then Mom threw something really tempting at me. It’s called Eclipse movie time! The third of the series of Twilight. My fave.(Again. Don’t judge me.) Around 2 pm right before the movie started I decided to cook me a delicious little lunch made my Compleats meals. Chicken Marinara. In the pic is Beef Stew but I forgot to take a pic of the food before I ate it. That was the closest thing I had. I also had a snack around 3 and that was a cup of Apple Jacks! One of my favs.
Dinner: baked chicken with rice and green beans. It was really good but a sucky clean up, my mama made so many dirty dishes, good thing I only had to dry while she washed(: The boys fought over lemon pepper the whole dinner…I was too I love lemon pepper.
Night snack: was two amazing wildberry poptarts, and an ounce of bbq chips… was good!
To drink all day? I had nothing but WATER!!!!! That is…unheard of I never drink water, but alas, water it was. But it has to be flavored water, I hate regular water it tastes like water and minerals.
Well, that was my day, so my little birds. Until tomorrow, night night!
Breakfast: 6.5 pts Lunch: 6 pts Snack: 3 pts Dinner: 9 pts Snack: 12 pts Snack: 4 pts
So, this morning I got up and told myself I was going to do this whole thing! Tomorrow I start my diet! And I’m also going to cut soda’s. Some people lose a lot of weight just drinking water so I thought that might be something to do. I’ve tried to do it before but I need to do it. There will be no try. And of course, I told myself all this after I ate breakfast while half asleep, so no picture of breakfast but I will indulge you with it’s contents:
Breakfast: Deliciously stupid buttery toast with sausage gravy from Whataburger. Had 3 slices.
Didn’t have lunch until almost 3 so…that was pretty bad. Lunch consisted of Pei Wei’s leftover (Dan Dan Noodles) from my sister who never eats her leftovers so they go in my tummy because I love Pei Wei!
Dinner: The birthday dinner my mom hasn’t made until today! We welcome Manicotti! Which is one of my all time favorites since I was a little kid! But no cheese, because I don’t like cheese! Yucky! I had a Coke with dinner. And also, a piece of bread.
Night Snack: Had chips and salsa and then Cake Batter, Oreo Creme, and Cinnamon ice cream mixed with cookie dough! YUM! Last night to have this snack!
Today, I also worked on many little projects of mine…I cleaned all of my tools for my practical exam on Thursday, so excited! Also I have an interview on Tuesday I might need some of said tools for. Wondering what kind of tools? Hair tools! I’m a cosmetologist and I just graduated from Ogle Beauty School.
So a lot is going on in my life that is really positive right now, which is good! I’m restarting my life, I have a new career and now going to finally shed my poundage. So let’s get started!(:
I look at that number and realize…that’s not the number I want to think of when I think of me. Although, I may love and cherish me…I cannot love that number. Being a big girl is all I’ve ever known. Once I was older and stopped wasting my time on what people thought of me, I stopped caring that I was big. I loved me and still do and really that’s all that matters.
The thing is, I want to be healthy. There’s nothing wrong with that. To be healthy is something awesome and rewarding! I’m scared though for this journey because I don’t want to lose who I am and I feel that I will. That I’ll turn into somebody I’m not and start caring what people think. I don’t want this to change. I love me and this is all I’ve ever known.
Some people say to me, “Once you’ll lose weight, it’ll be great and you’ll be happy and you’ll get to wear all these cute clothes and blah, blah, blah!” But I don’t know how ‘I’ will feel at the end of all that’s coming. And how do they know if I will be happy? What if I’m not and I’m still depressed and feel hopeless? How do they know? I’ve got 70 lbs. to lose and really even more to not be considered overweight, I don’t want to be a different person but I don’t want to still be…depressed from all these years and after all the weight being shed I want to be happy, but will I be?
I don’t want to lose all my thickness so I’m hoping to close in on 130 pounds. Damn. Come to think of it, I haven’t been 130 lbs. since I was in 7th grade. It’s scary. While it might very well be great to lose that weight I’ve set, I’m scared.
I’ve tried Weight Watchers before and it’s an awesome program! But I need more than just a food tracker, I think. So, despite my being afraid of losing myself in losing my weight, the thought of every time my leg goes numb could be the sign of diabetes, and after time and time again of pouring food…bad food…down my stomach, I’m going to make this food blog to help me become healthy. That’s what I have to think of it as, because if not I know I won’t follow through. It’s not for clothes, it’s for me not become at risk for heart problems or diabetes.
I’m going to track everything here. I might end up putting more than just food, because other accomplishments in my life are important. Food is part of my life so my life is going to probably end up coming into this blog. I need to write down my emotions and decisions, whether stupid or not. My exercise activities. And maybe even some happy moments, because we can all use those. This is a journal for all intents and purposes. This is for me, about me. I am an open book and if you want to share this time with me and help in motivating me towards my goals I would be so grateful because this won’t be such an easy journey.
The rest of my life will be starting on the second week of January on Monday, the 7th. Not because I’m procrastinating on tomorrow but because that is going to be my weigh in day with my mommy. I have much more to lose but her support and the support of others around me will get me through each day. So…tomorrow is junk day to eat whatever I want before officially weighing in! I know that’s probably horrible to start this food blog, but oh well! I will still take pictures of everything I eat and record it tomorrow. Then we Weight Watch!(: